I remember fondly. It was one of the best mornings, lazing in bed, having breakfast served to me, I knew it was going to be a romantic one. I can’t remember what context spurred the utterance, but suddenly it was over. ‘Saying “Farty” ruins everything!” she said, and that was that.





I know. It’s amazing how much what you say in situations that the women folk require only talk about “us” or “what were going to do” or “them in general” can be romance killers. Who’d a thunk it? They don’t teach this stuff in pre-marraige thingamajiggys do they? I personally find no problem in talking about my context, whether it be that her breath is mildy offensive and wouldnt it be weird if we could combine her shite-breath with my morning breath and breathe it over our enemies? or that i can still smell yesterdays farts when the duvet is moved. I think she takes it as a sign that im not concentrating on the job at hand but i AM i always AM.