That’s right, Movember, the month where I grow a moustache for charity. “Shouldn’t you be ashamed of yourself, growing a moustache in this day and age?” some of you will say to me and I retort, “NO! I’m not ASHAMED, FOR IT IS IN THE NAME OF LOVE that I do this, the name of LOVE! And if you don’t sell everything you have and give to this charity you can’t be my friend.” Jesus said something similar, so why can’t I? I’m in the know. Now I don’t want to come across like those chuggers (charity muggers) you see and try to avoid on the street, but I will have your money. You see shame is precisely the problem here, shame of owning some porn-star’s moustache, shame of checking your prostate out in case it’s got cancer, shame of not giving to charity. Same thing. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I’m just helping you and everyone else to overcome shame.

If you really want to be my friend, you’ll identify with me in my suffering and help raise awareness of this issue so that less people will die of prostate cancer, but mostly because you are my friend right? Just as I have laid down my ego for those who haven’t, so you can lay down your money to help spread the word about the consequences, sort of an attractive idealist coupled with hellfire and brimstone thing, a combination that works great.

And no, growing the mo will not give me prostate cancer. (don’t worry)

I think it is a good idea to show you my progress so far so here is a photo of what I look like now, 11 days in. Because I am a man of sensibility and I know some of you are people of taste, I’ve spared you from actually having to hurt your eyes though. It’s amazing what you can do with photoshop.

If you really want to see what I look like, why not come and see me, you haven’t been in touch in ages you old abbreviated “Basket of Turd“.

But seriously, if you don’t want to give that’s fine. Do be aware that I will be sending you an “IT’S YOUR FAULT” note every time someone dies because you could have helped but didn’t. If you do want to give, click here. If this doesn’t help let me know and I’ll sort something out.

Well, now that you’ve been manipulated I feel safe to leave you alone and get back to housework. Yes, Movember is also the month where Curly D does her second teaching practice, preparation for which takes up all her time. I have been told to remove the various types of mould I’ve been cultivating and I’m running out of excuses. Let’s see, I’ve used the “It’s an experiment” one,

Ah, how fortunate, I can’t clean up any mould because the scrubber to clean it with is covered in mould. Saved again!